Women in Kerala in the near past

I read Harini's post about a futuristic concept called Handmaid I decided to post my comment to that post on my blog. Have a read.

You have left me thinking about the Kerala Society.

Some years back, there was this rampant custom among the Nambudiri ‘clan’ who would associate(sexually) with a woman of a lower caste(mostly Nairs), this was called sambandham. The institution of marriage at that time caled ‘Veli’ allowed a Nambudiri to have multiple sambandhams. Most of the ‘women’ in sambandham were 13 year old girls, whereas the Nambudiri himself would be more than 60 years of age. I always consider this an institutionalized rape, but I never think the girls would have thought that it was rape, They would have considered themselves to be lucky for being fucked by a rich Nambudiri. While being drawn into the contract of sambandham they would know what exactly is in store for them.

The subtler part here is whether the girl would have had an opinion of NOT associating with a Nambudiri, if there was such a girl then I would consider her to be raped by the customs. However the general rule in those times was that a girl never has the rights to her life. The KEY to her life is in associating with a man. The mans ‘power’ is her source of protection. So I guess 99.9999% of the girls would have volunteered to be associated with a nambudiri.

When I used to hear such stories from my mom about such customs, I would just Imagine how the sexual part between a 13 year old lean girl and a 60 year old fat man would be. One has just to change the words in the book and instead of travelling forward into time to view a handmaid you can travel backwards and view a girls mind in Sambandham.

My red ‘pawada’ (skirt) is hitched up to my waist though no higher. Below it the Nambudiri(Commander) is associating(fucking). He is associating with me physically as a matter of divinity(What he is fucking is the lower part of my body). Eventhough I don’t feel anything; I am supposed to be blessed by this association and therefore I should feel happy.This is what I expected when I associated with him.(I do not say making love, because this is not what he’s doing. Copulating too would be inaccurate, because it would imply two people and only one is involved. Nor does rape cover it: nothing is going on here that I haven’t signed up for.)

Even though some people (who still believe in ‘Brahmin Supremacy’) would try to justify this i believe they were horrific crimes against humanity.

I used to hear some old tales(puranas) from my Grandma.From whatever little of what i know about the Puranas I dont think anywhere there was a woman treated like someone in sambandham… this sytem was not mentioned anywhere. Though women were lower to men in making choices, even in the ranks of the gods and godesses, they were always considered to be powerful and could make some choices. For example Gandhari, Kunti in Mahabharat. Sita in Ramayana. They were power houses and were very very respected(even now). I consider the Krishna devotee Meera also to be a woman of independent choice and also very powerful.

One knows what is the status of women in the present and in the near past. But what was the status of women, during the time of say Ashoka the great? If they were treated with respect and had the right to take decisions and make independednt choices, then we have a BIG question in our hands.

What made Indian society change? from one that respects women as its members to something that USES women as a utility.

The answer to this question will be something that will have a cure in it, for the present society.